6 Pieces of Parenting Advice I Can Offer on Mother's Day

Going through my daughter's iPod, was the best gift I could have possibly given to myself this Mother's Day.

Listen, I'm completely aware that this holiday isn't for me. To anyone who exists on this earth and who's Mother (or mother in-law, for that matter) is alive and around - this holiday isn't for you either. Sorry about that.

We're in the process of purchasing a house... (It's a huge Pain in the A$$ B-T-Dubs... more to come on that in the future) - the point is... I don't want any gifts right now ... Essentially whatever is spent on me, is less that we can spend on furniture (of which we won't have enough to fill our house) so I have to make some sacrifices... 

Or at least I thought... 

My amazing husband lost his Mother a few months ago... The ability to power through and still get my car detailed today and express himself in such a beautiful way... was enough of a gift, in and of itself.

Xoxo

But then...

Dun Dun Dunnnnnn

My daughter asked me to look at a video she had made on her iPod. It was HILARIOUS... (I can't show it to you all because she does some pelvis thrusting motion that makes me uncomfortable to share on the internet)

Anyway... After this video... we spent about an hour reviewing (and laughing at) her iPod photo content. 

Meanwhile... it's not just me that is laughing at her ridiculousness... 

It's her too, she understands how silly she is... 

And she knows how much she is loved... 

Otherwise, she wouldn't have the confidence to display herself looking like this... 

'

Yea that's a tough one...

Then... I got to the tipping point.  I decided I needed to write this blog post. It isn't enough to share the video on Facebook... I needed to comment on it. 

LET ME BE COMPLETELY FORTHCOMING - This video is 10 minutes long. 

TEN MINUTES. 

Here is what you will learn after watching this ridiculously long video... and my parenting advice to you this Mother's Day... 

1) Buy your kid an iPod...(Or any other type of recording apparatus)

How Else could you capture content such as this? You can't. Remember all that stupid stuff you used to do in your bedroom when you were by yourself in front of a mirror? Well... They don't really make mirrors anymore, we have iDevices for that. 

2) Don't leave your kid unattended in their room for more than 5 minutes at a time (seriously, don't) 

Imagine what could happen in 6 minutes... or imagine what could happen in 10 minutes in the event that your kid doesn't have the slightest fear that you will show-up any minute.

3) Don't give your 7 year old any of your old make-up and make her promise she won't use it without your permission (It's just too tempting, you certainly will be setting her up for failure)

In this video... Olivia May or may not utilize cheap eyeshadow as foundation... I haven't taught her how to use Make-up yet... because she's fricken 7 years old... I may or may not have contradicted myself by giving my daughter my cheap makeup that she doesn't know how to use - when she is just too young to understand how wrong she is about proper application. 

4) Don't be surprised that when your daughter is home alone with your husband... shit is likely to go down

Spoiler alert... You will see my husband enter the room... tell her that they will be scootering soon enough.. and then exit. No mention of, "Hey Olivia - Whatcha recording there?" or "Hey Olivia - why are you putting Makeup on in the middle of a Monday Afternoon when you're not supposed to?"

5) Don't put a TV in your baby's bedroom and then expect her to go without - later when you realize what a horrible mistake you have made... it's not necessary (Seriously Olivia? You're making a You Tube Video - pay attention!) 

My daughter doesn't have ADD... She certainly looks like she does.. but let's  be honest - we would all be a little distracted if the TV was BLASTING two inches from our face... EVEN IF we were trying to become a YouTube Star. 

And the post important piece of parenting advice I can offer you... 

6) DO NOT let your child post things to the internet without your permission.

In this specific instance... I posted it. Posting isn't granted on the individual contributor level with this one until she is ATLEAST 21.

Ps... Any time she turns away from the camera ... Feel free to fast forward because it's not like she just "glances" at the tv...