Thoughts on Religion

Hmmmm. Religion.

Here's the thing... now that I am no longer required to post these blogs for school, chances are they will come up as controversial conversations in my life arise. So a few things will be true.

1) They will come as they come  (likely in no fashion that will build a following).

2) They will be random (again in no fashion that will build a following) and

3) They won't be forced... which hopefully will result in a better quality read for the rest of you (but, full disclosure - I drink a lot - so it's completely possible they won't be as good as my drunk-self thinks they will be).

Back to my thoughts on Religion...

I was baptized, I got my first communion, and I almost got confirmed...

Before I pretend like this will be a jaw-dropper, let me start by saying that, at the end of this story... I didn't get confirmed. Sorry. 

When it was my turn, we had the option to do a week-long, what I now refer to as, God Boot-Camp- or we needed to do one hour every day throughout the ENTIRE school year, in order to be ready for the big event (I'm talking about Confirmation, for those who aren't following).

Due to my overall lack of attention, accompanied with my realization of my lack of attention at a very early age, I opted for a week vs a year.  Makes perfect sense... even now.

So, after Boot-Camp I had two sessions left. Practice and Graduation. Easy-squeezy!

 Here's the problem....

Based on the information that I had been provided with at the time... Baptism was my entrance into this world and Communion was my Parent's way of officially bringing me into to the Religion.

Confirmation was me accepting it was the right decision.

This, along with going for my black-belt at 13 while being told that I would be considered a "lethal weapon" for the rest of my life... was too much commitment for me at this period of my existence.

Other kids didn't think twice about it (both the black belt test and confirmation, but for the purposes of this exposé, we're discussing Confirmation).

Everyone else got confirmed (then didn't step foot in a catholic church again until someone needed to get married, but that's besides the point). Good for them.

Problem was... I wasn't going to commit to anything if I wasn't completely sure what I was committing to.

I remember my confirmation teacher by her face but, luckily for her and the church, I can't remember her name for the life of me.

I asked her, "What is the difference between the Catholic Religion and other Christian Religions?". I was somewhat ignorant to religious differences,,fine; but it wasn't as if I was asking what the difference was between us and those who didn't believe in Jesus.

She didn't know. Or... she knew and wouldn't tell me. Either way, her answer didn't quite cut it.

At this point, even in my young life, she had lost all credibility. Therefore, anything she had taught me in boot-camp couldn't be trusted, and I needed additional time to do some research.

This, coupled with fun-week-long retreats at my friends Baptist Church and my Mom's lack of commitment to the effort (proven by the fact she would drop me off at Church on Sunday Mornings and come pick me up when Mass was over), ended up in me not ever being confirmed.

A few years after this event, after I thought that I had grown up (I was wrong... shocker); I started to look into it a little bit.

I visited several different churches, including but not limited to,  those of the Baptist, Protestant, Non-Denomenational and Orthodox varieties.

The common thread? The Bible.

The interpretations and/or mis-interpretations of them, all brought me to where I'm at now, which is for another time....

The point I was trying to get to is that the Catholic Religion seems to push more people away, than it does draw people in.

Listen... Confirmation or No Confirmation, I went to a Bar Mitzvah and I felt so guilty I wanted to go to confession, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned... It has been 15 years since my last Confession". Of course I mean no offense to the Jewish religion, it just isn't my thing... and don't judge me, that's how I was raised.

So... the question remains... how do we raise our children?

I can't claim to be Catholic... but my family is Catholic... my Husband's family is Catholic... my Neices just got their Confirmation and my Cousin's daughter is getting her first communion in a few weeks.... I was baptized, and my husband was baptized... and in the last 7 years of her life, everyone has been asking who her God Parent's are.

For the first time in my parental life, I'm wondering if I made the wrong decision, but for all the right reasons. Is Catholisism a religion? Or is Catholisim a Culture? ... and if is solely a religion, why do I feel a Cultural pressure on adhering to the Catholic Religion?

I don't have the answer.

I'm literally asking

(Need I remind you that no one put a gun to your head forcing you to read this, so please share your negative crap with your Mother, because I'm not necessarily interested in what you have to say)





 

5 Things to Consider When Enrolling in College After You're Old Enough to Drink

So, in the past my inappropriate mommy blog has done a lot of ranting a raving about how difficult it can be to manage too many things at once. I've talked about my daughter, my inappropriate cleaning habits (or lack thereof) - I've talked about my favorite commercials, books, SNL skits etc.

What I haven't done, is give you enough insight into my studies. 

As a twenty-something professional, who can see the light at the end of this very very dark tunnel that I like to call - college when it isn't fun anymore - I feel the need to share the ups and downs, just incase you yourself were planning to embark upon this journey. 

If you're wondering whether or not your old-ass ("You're not too old for this earth, you're just too old for this club" - name that movie!) wants to go back to school to pursue your passion. Consider these five things first. 

1) Don't play the numbers game 

What do I mean by this? It's along the lines of being a Senior in High School and deciding NOT to become a Doctor because it will take too long. That's stupid. 

There are a ton of things that go into this decision, but just because it will take a long time, shouldn't be a deciding factor. 

The question you need to ask yourself is, "Would I rather be 30 (or insert appropriate age) with a degree, or 30 without one?"

Time passes (I know, it sucks), but it's going to pass whether you're in school or you're not. You may as well try and make the most of it. 

2) Then again - Think about the Numbers

Numbers - as in the ones that follow this sign ----->

Let me tell you something. In case you've been hiding under a rock and previously unaware. It costs a lot of money to go back to school. 

It costs a lot of money to go to school period - the only difference is, when you're of drinking age and decide you're changing your life's path -  now it's your money you'd be spending.

So go ahead, comment about how your parents didn't pay for your college. Tell me about how your paying back student loans until the day you die. Blah Blah Blah

Listen, it's still different. 

There comes a point in your life, when you're sick of asking for things from other people. You don't want to borrow another red cent from your Mother, for the sole reason that you don't want her to have an opinoin on how you spend it (although she still will - at least she may not feel the absolute need to share it with you). 

It's called growing up and becoming independent of your parents. It's necessary - and just like time passing - it also sucks. 

Think tuition, fees (did you know that they charge more to take all your classes online? They call it a "Distance Learning Fee".... go ahead try and make sense of that), Books, Computer Software, Interest on loans, pens, pencils, highlighters, gas, ink etc - consider it all. When you're done - how much are you expecting to get paid as a result of the degree (I suggest you do some research, it likely is less than you think). 

You get the point - and if you don't you probably shouldn't go back to school anyway. 

3) Figure Out Who You're Trying To Impress

The possibilities of potential people who would make this list - are endless.  Parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, your kids etc. Name them all.

I'm not one to say that it's not a good enough reason, or that the people on that list aren't worth it. Maybe it is and maybe they are. I'll help you dwindle it down.

Step 1 : Make List

Step 1: Make List

Just be honest with yourself. You don't have to publish it in the New York Times... it can be FYEO (catch that 90's reference?) 

Step 2: Remove anyone who has already graduated

Chances are, you've got some college graduates on your list. Take them off immediately. People aren't impressed when you do something they have already done. College is hard - but it's harder when you're not having any fun while doing it. They won't appreciate it, so by removing them from the list - you will save yourself the disappointment.

Step 3: Remove anyone under the age of 21

Kids of all ages can be crossed off now. They don't care. Think about how impressed you were with your Mother when she did your laundry when you were 7, or how proud you were when she had dinner ready for you after school. They don't understand, they won't ever understand, take them off now. 

Step 4: Re-Analyze your list 

Now that your list has been dwindled down to a select few... give it a once over. This is your list. Self-actualization mixed with a touch of reality.

Now... If your list includes "ME" (not me, the inappropriate mommy blogger - "me" as in you)... You are now finished with this exercise.

If your list does NOT include "ME" or any variant of it... proceed to step 5.

Step 5: Throw away the list - forget about it and get a better job

4) Understand What You Will Be Giving Up

Time passes regardless, I know I said that.

Please understand that it is a huge commitment - don't start if you don't plan on finishing, that's just a waste. But it is a sacrifice. 

You are sacrificing your time, your money and your sanity among other things of course. 

Figure out what you would be doing with your time, money and sanity - if it isn't being spent on group projects and boring lectures. 

Would you be making more money? Would you be starting a business? Would you have the energy to invent something spectacular that the world didn't realize it couldn't live without? This is pushing it I know. Would you travel? Would you be paying more attention to your kid while they're still young enough to want the attention? 

Time passes regardless. If your not going to go to school, because you could accomplish so much more - or it just isn't worth it, because your kid will be little for only a little longer.... make sure that you don't waste it.

Because if you don't make more money, or you don't start a business, or you don't invent something spectacular that the world didn't realize it needed, or you don't spend the time with your kids - or whatever else you felt was more important than doing what you wanted- you made a bad choice.

 ... just to end on a lighter note - you need to know... 

5) There Are ALOT of Stupid People in College

And --- you will be expected to interact with them... Regularly...  Like, every semester in almost every single class - all the time. 

Whether in group projects or on discussion board postings or teaching your class, they're EVERYWHERE, and your grade will depend on them. 

I've been in upper level classes for a while now. It amazes me how some of these people graduated high school - let alone are a few classes from graduating College. Frankly, I'm not even convinced some of them know how to get out of their own neighborhood. 

So, wherever you fall on the scale of dumb-ass-ness - I'm sure you will do fine in College, it will be harder if your stupid, but it happens all the time apparently.

And if you can make it without pulling your hair out, you're probably lower on the scale than you thought ;)