My Favorite Things to Come Out of Saturday Night Live

In anticipation for tonight's 40th Anniversary special, I feel the need to share with you some of my favorite things that have come from Saturday Night Live.

I'm 27, so I haven't seen all 40 years of SNL, obviously, but having it as a staple in my life; the show has been referenced, googled, and re-watched pretty frequently over the course of the last couple decades.

On a side note: Remember Mad TV? That was pretty sweet, "Carl, throw down the loofah - I need to wipe off some dead skin!"

Back to SNL - Let's proceed.. In no particular order... and obviously I haven't even touched the surface...

Adam Sandler 

Adam Sandler movies feel like "Home" to me. Whenever I'm in a funk, or sad, or bored, or scrolling through the channels and happen to catch one... Adam Sandler makes me laugh. 

Name that movie... 

"That's your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me!" 

"Hip - Hip Hop - Hip Hop Anonymous" 

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"What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul" 

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Or... How about all the Drew Barrymoore ones... (my personal favorites)

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 This is my favorite movie of all time. This and Superbad. I've seen it hundreds of times. It's hilarious and if you don't think so - I have no words for you.

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They did it again! The chemistry between these two is awesome, from The Wedding Singer to Blended, I truly hope these two go for another. 

And for the ridiculous few who didn't know the answers to my pop-quiz... in order of appearance: Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, Billy Madison, 50 First Dates, Blended. 

There are many more, but your attention span can't handle it. 

Chris Farley

Sad face. Chris Farley was an amazing actor who was taken far before his time at 33 years old of an overdose. Farley was on SNL from '90 - '95. 

Chris Farley starred in three movies that were released the three years before his death - that you need to watch. 

Name that movie...

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"Rectum? Damn near killed'em!"

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Okay this one was a little harder... JUST KIDDING. In order of appearance... Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Beverly Hills Ninja

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Kristin Wiig

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Talk about inspiration. I thought I was funny (no one else does, but I seem to entertain myself just fine). I couldn't ever do what these few do. Specifically in front of people.

Tina Fey, author of Bossy Pants (of which I reviewed here) started off as a writer for SNL before taking over "Weekend Update" in 2000. For a total of six season, she redefined beauty. 

Amy Poehler, who met Fey in an improv class in Chicago in 1993, starred on SNL from '01 - '09. Her hit TV Series, Parks and Recreation will air it's hour long season finale on Tuesday February 24th. 

Maya Rudolph spent 9 seasons making us laugh with her hilarious impressions of Oprah, Maya Angelou and Beyonce on SNL from '99 - '08.  

Kristin Wiig spent 7 seasons most recently of the four - from '05 - '12.  

OMG - Remember when Liza Minelli Tried to Turn off a Lamp.. 

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Watch Full Video Here

Mary Katherine Gallagher & The Spartan Cheerleaders

"Sometimes, when I get nervous... " Good stuff - and contrary to popular belief, it doesn't get old! People love hearing that when they're drunk. 

Did anyone see The Today Show's Halloween episode this year? That was awesome. The Spartan cheerleaders debuted on SNL January 20, 1996 and re-appeared October 31, 2014 on NBC in the AM

Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon and Adam Samberg

No Words... 

Liquorville..

Put a Ring on it...

Dick in a box...

I threw it on the ground...

All of these things and  WAY more (referenced below) will be the reason why we all sit ourselves down, in real time, and watch TV tonight... even with the commercials. We can't miss one moment. 

Here's the WAY: Chris Rock, Molly Shannon, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, Bill Hader, Dan Akroyd, Seth Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Rachel Dratch, Fred Armisen, Cheri Oteri, Phil Hartman, Chevy Chase, John Belushi, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Kate McKinnon, Will Ferrell... THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TIME!!!

Pecker head... and other ridiculous things my father made me believe

Well, there's an interesting header for ya! Let me explain...

My Dad had a "pet name" for me. Some fathers call their daughter, "Peanut" or "Princess". For me it was, "Get over here you little pecker head!" 

I knew what a "Pecker" was... so, I'm not so sure why it took me so long to figure out that he was essentially calling me a "Dick Head" for all those years.

Let me give you a little background...

My father was a buyer and seller... of things. He didn't see a dumpster as trash. It was an opportunity. Anything could be considered a business opportunity if you looked at it with the right set of glasses on.

His idea of a good time was Garage Sales on Saturday mornings, and betting people I couldn't eat a whole steak at the bar on Saturday Nights (he always won, I was little-but had quite the appetite),

Anyway, the purpose of this rant is to let you know, even if you  tell your kids stories that are complete and utter LIES in order to entertain yourself, they likely will still end up okay. Hopefully.

The Time the Pope Was My Uncle

I was young, probably somewhere between 5 and 7 years old. I was spending the weekend with Dad, and The Pope (John Paul II) was in Baltimore.

My father proceeded to tell me that the Pope was my uncle. Better yet, he (The Leader of the Catholic Church) was going to stop by on his way up to Boston.

There was one caveat to this story. The only way he would come, is if I didn't tell my Mother.

So, me being the youthful deviant that I was, ran upstairs to quickly contact my Mother to tell her all the excellent and exciting news.

My Mother's response? "Are you crazy? That's the last place IN THE WORLD, The Pope would ever visit, so don't get your hopes up".

She was right. The Pope didn't show.

When Kevin was A Gladiator... and Astronaut... and ...

My Dad had an assistant, or second hand. Again, my Dad was a buyer and seller of things. He had a construction company, a second hand store, a few horses, a gym in his basement, and a Go Go Bar (a great place for a young woman to grow up in the kitchen of).

So, nevertheless, he needed some help around the house. Insert my Best Friend, Kevin.

This was when I was one.. I remember him a little plump-er

Kevin used to play Doom with me, instead of cleaning out the basement. We would play hide and seek when he was supposed to be fixing a fence.

He went to Six Flags with us and never made me ride those really high roller-coasters that made my stomach hurt. He also kept us company in the car, when we were driving to the half-way point to meet my Mom on a Sunday evening.

They told me that Kevin was an Astronaut, that he had walked on the moon BEFORE Neil Armstrong. I believed them.

They told me that Kevin fought in World War II, and he was a hero for the Germans. I believed them. 

They told me that Kevin was on American Gladiators, and he beat Hulk Hogan. I believed that too. 

They also schemed to make me believe that my Father was actually born a girl, and I would one day have a pecker of my own...

Dad, as a woman. Luckily, it was Halloween. 

On a side note: When my father walked me down the sandy isle at my wedding, between his tears he leaned over a whispered in my ear, "I told  you that you would have a pecker of your own one day!"  He was right. 

The Time I Thought That Weirdly Shaped Present was Awesome

Imagine this. It's Christmas morning... around 5:00 AM. You're approximately 7 years old.

Finally! Christmas is here! You've been waiting all year for this amazing morning to come to fruition, and there are a ton of presents perfectly wrapped under the tree.

You run towards to the oddly shaped prism of a present, about this shape and size...

It's propped up to the left of the tree and up against the sliding glass door. It's the first one that catches your attention! How interesting? What could it be? 

It's a poster. 

Of your father. 

Half naked and flexing .... and the amount of hair that he has suggests, it obviously was taken years before you were born.  

Here is a picture that will prove how ridiculous this present for an 7 year old really was... 

Yes, I kept it. I've got stories to tell. 

Olivia, horrified.

The time I turned out okay...

My Dad and his friends told me to, "go play in traffic" because I was being a normal-kid-level of annoying. I thought the bartender at The Ridge was my Uncle. I would come home after a long weekend with $100 from all the bets I won against the drunks at the bar, while my Dad was making his rounds.

I think it was good that my Mom and Dad had things going on that didn't completely revolve around entertaining me. I learned to self-entertain. It took me 27 years to perfect it - but I learned it nonetheless. 

My Dad always tells the story of when he had me in the truck, out plowing all night (snow that is, they have that up there in Jersey). I was little - I had a blue Fisher Price Booster Seat (tried to Google an image to insert here, but apparently someone at Fisher Price got smart and pulled it). According to the man, I sat there all night and didn't complain, whine, or cry. I just sat there while my Dad plowed the parking lots for money.

Of course I remember it differently, but that's neither here nor there (apparently I only complained inside my mind - but for the record - it was treacherous). 

Maybe that's what all kids from our generation did. By "Our" I mean LATE 80's - still not so sure about the born-in-the-90's kids (or any other generation actually, this blog is very egocentric).

Today, kids need to be entertained 24-7. Even my little princess, who I admire for being so self-entertaining, still needs a butt-load of entertainment. Entertainment that I wasn't raised to provide for her, and too young to imagine for her. (Enter Aunt Lauren - wink wink)

No one is perfect. No parent or parental coupling, is perfect (many aren't even really all that good at it). 

Me: "Oh Dear God, Bless this Man. I'm the Only Hope He Has"

It's subjective though, isn't it? I mean, all you judgy-judgersons out there may look at me as if maybe I'm not doing it right.

Well, good thing I'm raising my kid instead of yours.

Top 5 Super Bowl Commercials of 2015

Football; an emotional word for some, not me... but some.

The Super Bowl marks the end of either, a very long or very short season, depending on which camp you are in.

People watch the Super Bowl for one, or any combination, of three reasons. 

1) You love the game

2) You love the Entertainment Value (Commercials/Half Time), or

3) Peer Pressure

(Feel free to insert either "like" or "are intrigued by", in lieu of "love" in any of the aforementioned phrases) 

Me, personally - I am teetering somewhere between two and three - but no where near reason number one. (Sorry to The League of Lovely Ladies. I play Fantasy Football for the camaraderie and because ESPN is on 24-7 in my house... I need to do something with that knowledge)

I feel as though I could really enjoy watching football - if only it wasn't so ridiculously SLOWWWWWWW. I have stuff to do.. Let's get a move on! 

During the regular season, the commercial quality is that of those I fast forward through -during the shows that actually entertain me. The fact that they come every five minutes, is what leads to the boring-ness of it all. 

For sitcoms, or even hour-long drama series, there is something happening when the commercials are over. When they're over during a Football game, you likely will still just be watching people stand around a field plotting a strategy (of which you are not privy to) and waiting for a decision to be made, or ball to be thrown...or whatever else makes the game GO again. 

Now, if they were to share with us (the TV-watchers), the PLAN, maybe then would it be worth all the waiting. Then....we would know who to blame when something goes wrong. 

Take watching Poker on TV, for instance. We (the TV-watchers) know what cards each player is holding. Therefore - we know who is good at their job, or who is terrible at their job and in turn should be fired. 

With Football, on the other hand, we don't know who should be fired. You may think you know, but "they don't know... we know, they know, we know" (MVP).  

Who is to blame, is purely speculation and essentially subjective. 

Speaking of subjective... here is a countdown of My Top Five Commercials of the 2015 Super Bowl. 

5. Budweiser #BestBuds

I know, I know... 5? Yes. It's at number five. I wasn't a fan of 

A) How the dog got lost - still confused about that one, and 

B) The Wolf thing. 

But... They paid tribute to the spectacular 2013 and 2014 Super Bowl Commercials - which (I needed to watch again to make sure I was linking the correct videos) still make me cry. 

4. BMW I3 - Newfangled Idea

I love me some nostalgia (as proven by the hot dance moves I was displaying when Missy Elliott came out during the Half Time Show). 

If you were late to your Super Bowl party, you may have missed it. It was in the beginning and it reminded me of my childhood. 

You know, I actually met Katie Couric once! We went to NYC on Christmas Eve and she was taking autographs and pictures outside of the studio. She pointed out that I had a Sharpie stain on my over-sized jacket.... 

3. Coca-Cola #MakeItHappy

This was my favorite... until I saw the next two. I love the idea, the message, the delivery... I loved everything about it. Specifically 

A) The baby with the fist pump, and 

B) "No one likes U" being transformed to "There's no one like you" ... 

2. Loctite Glue - Positive Feelings

Did you just watch that? It's hilarious! 

If you're one of those who didn't see the humor... you probably don't like Will Ferrell movies either. Listen, you need to just relax and watch the movies alone. That way you can laugh freely without judgement. They're good. 

1. Always - #LikeAGirl

Bittersweet. In fact, I literally started crying in front of my Super Bowl party. They yelled, "Aww, Mildred" (When I cry I make a face, like someone who looks like their name should be Mildred). 

Women take themselves for granted all too often. See yourself as you once saw yourself. Amazing. 

You are either an amazing woman or you know an amazing woman. 

Now, go show the world! 

Over and out.