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| This isn't me. |
I'm like - the furthest thing from "well off" ... but as far as budgeting is concerned - I would budget a cleaning service before I budget food.
No one seems to understand the background on why a mother and wife, can't handle a three bedroom apartment on her own.
Here's why... (and you thought this would be a USELESS inapproriate mommy blog)
1) It takes me FOREVER
I have ADD. Not the good kind where you can't sit still and need to constantly be doing something cough cough Lauren cough cough.
The kind where I can't do only one thing. Ever.
Let me explain....
If it takes you five minutes to throw in a load of laundry - good for you. I put clothes in the wash, and then... I walk around for five minutes looking for more clothes, get easily distracted and start washing dishes - or watching TV.
Then, magically it is 24 hours later and the lid to my washing machine is still up and the water is full to the top with no clothes in it. :(
Or I start to write a blog post and stop to read an e-mail and get completely side-tracked for two hours.
Better yet and even more specific...
I like to clean on Friday Nights. In the event I am in dire need of cleaning my own house - I prefer to do it on a Friday Night.
It's two-fold.
If I clean on a Friday Night, no one judges me for drinking on a saturday morning AND when I wake up on Saturday I am blessed with a clean house and nothing more to do, other than enjoy my weekend!
Doesn't that sound spectacular?
One of these Friday nights, I started to clean my kitchen. I realized that I had to put dishes away and there wasn't enough cabinet space shocker, I live in an apartment - most of my pots are in my dishwasher and oven.
I have ADD. Not the good kind where you can't sit still and need to constantly be doing something cough cough Lauren cough cough.
The kind where I can't do only one thing. Ever.
Let me explain....
If it takes you five minutes to throw in a load of laundry - good for you. I put clothes in the wash, and then... I walk around for five minutes looking for more clothes, get easily distracted and start washing dishes - or watching TV.
Then, magically it is 24 hours later and the lid to my washing machine is still up and the water is full to the top with no clothes in it. :(
Or I start to write a blog post and stop to read an e-mail and get completely side-tracked for two hours.
Better yet and even more specific...
I like to clean on Friday Nights. In the event I am in dire need of cleaning my own house - I prefer to do it on a Friday Night.
It's two-fold.
If I clean on a Friday Night, no one judges me for drinking on a saturday morning AND when I wake up on Saturday I am blessed with a clean house and nothing more to do, other than enjoy my weekend!
Doesn't that sound spectacular?
One of these Friday nights, I started to clean my kitchen. I realized that I had to put dishes away and there wasn't enough cabinet space shocker, I live in an apartment - most of my pots are in my dishwasher and oven.
So.. I started to clean out my cabinets; as my, pots and pans cabinet, is on the lower level - I decided to whip out my daughter's teeth brushing step stool in oder to complete the task.
Well - let me tell you something! On that low level - there is a lot to be desired with the cleanliness of my living space.
Enter - Toothbrush.
Baseboards - spots on the walls. All of a sudden it's 2 AM - I have pots and pans all over my kitchen, my house is a mess and only half of the baseboards in my living room and kitchen are clean.
In the less severe circumstances, it still takes me forever for the mere fact that if you are cleaning half of a room at a time, and then go back and clean half of another room - and then go back again and clean half of what is left from the first room - and then start a third room.... do you see where the problem may be? Multi-tasking isn't possible...
Give this bad boy a try - and then try to say I'm wrong ... Proof Multi-Tasking Doesn't Quite Cut It
2) Pain
I don't know about you... but 8 hours of doing ANYTHING could cause some serious physical pain in the event your out of shape and don't do any physical activity (that's me).
The last time I spent a Friday Evening cleaning - My legs hurt - my arms hurt - my stomach muscles hurt ---- my face even hurt because I was frowning the whole time.
Squatting to pick stuff up off the floor - lifting things, and putting everything away - UGH.
No Thanks!
3) It Will Single-Handedly Save My Marriage
I am not from the school of - the woman does the housework and the man goes to work.
And - to a certain extent and unfortunately for both of us, I feel as if my husband is.
Actually, it's not that the woman has to the do the housework - it's just that the man doesn't.
Man - Lawn
Man - Grill
Man - Garbage
Man - Anything that requires a tool
Woman - Everything else.
That "Everything Else" Clause - includes a few stipulations I'm not quite comfortable with.
In addition, my definition of "Tool" and Man's definition of "Tool" - differ greatly.
For instance, I believe a dish wand - could qualify as a tool. Or even a washing machine and dryer.
An iron is a tool to iron clothing.
A vacuum is a tool to get the shit out of the carpet.
A towel could be considered a tool to wipe the kitchen counters.
A toilet bowl brush ..BAM.. Tool to clean the toilets...
So you see our dilemma?
My handsome, supportive and loving husband doesn't care who does it - as long as it doesn't have to be him.
And, let's face it... I can't blame him (due to that being my stance also).
That being said... when I DO end up cleaning the house... I feel as if it was huge favor I just did for him specifically - and this is where the difference of opinion comes in.
For instance... we rent a condo, therefore we're not responsible for any repairs.
We had a closet fall down twice and we weren't paying the lady to come clean AGAIN with a room that she couldn't even access due to the mounds of clothes and crap all over the place.
Mind you this happened after I completed some winter-break de-cluttering and re-organizing; and based on the tone of this post I'm sure you can see how utterly un necessary this was to my well-being
Here's where I came in (only because home-boy decided to host a Super Bowl party the next day, might I graciously add).
Anyway, because it was semi-sort-of last minute - I didn't get my cleaning done on Friday Night.
I started to clean at 4PM on Saturday afternoon. I didn't finish until after 2AM.
That being said... I was mad. Not necessarily for good reason, but mad nonetheless.
Like REALLY mad. Like, don't even look at me right now, mad...
Like, if-your-finger-touches-my-arm-I-will-break-it, mad.
He had to bribe me into not being mad anymore. That only occurred after I had my fit, didn't speak to him for half the day, and he agreed to take Olive to school the ENTIRE week. This meant I could wake up 45 minutes later every day - and I'm not an early person - so it holds great value in my eyes.
All in all, it's a give and take. I'm willing to GIVE money to someone to clean my house ... and in turn I will TAKE food from our mouths to pay for it.
Laugh Out Loud - I crack myself up.
See... this inappropriate mommy blog provides humor AND marriage advice.
Well - let me tell you something! On that low level - there is a lot to be desired with the cleanliness of my living space.
Enter - Toothbrush.
Baseboards - spots on the walls. All of a sudden it's 2 AM - I have pots and pans all over my kitchen, my house is a mess and only half of the baseboards in my living room and kitchen are clean.
In the less severe circumstances, it still takes me forever for the mere fact that if you are cleaning half of a room at a time, and then go back and clean half of another room - and then go back again and clean half of what is left from the first room - and then start a third room.... do you see where the problem may be? Multi-tasking isn't possible...
Give this bad boy a try - and then try to say I'm wrong ... Proof Multi-Tasking Doesn't Quite Cut It
2) Pain
I don't know about you... but 8 hours of doing ANYTHING could cause some serious physical pain in the event your out of shape and don't do any physical activity (that's me).
The last time I spent a Friday Evening cleaning - My legs hurt - my arms hurt - my stomach muscles hurt ---- my face even hurt because I was frowning the whole time.
Squatting to pick stuff up off the floor - lifting things, and putting everything away - UGH.
No Thanks!
3) It Will Single-Handedly Save My Marriage
I am not from the school of - the woman does the housework and the man goes to work.
And - to a certain extent and unfortunately for both of us, I feel as if my husband is.
Actually, it's not that the woman has to the do the housework - it's just that the man doesn't.
Man - Lawn
Man - Grill
Man - Garbage
Man - Anything that requires a tool
Woman - Everything else.
That "Everything Else" Clause - includes a few stipulations I'm not quite comfortable with.
In addition, my definition of "Tool" and Man's definition of "Tool" - differ greatly.
 |
| Cleaning "Tools" |
An iron is a tool to iron clothing.
A vacuum is a tool to get the shit out of the carpet.
A towel could be considered a tool to wipe the kitchen counters.
A toilet bowl brush ..BAM.. Tool to clean the toilets...
So you see our dilemma?
My handsome, supportive and loving husband doesn't care who does it - as long as it doesn't have to be him.
And, let's face it... I can't blame him (due to that being my stance also).
That being said... when I DO end up cleaning the house... I feel as if it was huge favor I just did for him specifically - and this is where the difference of opinion comes in.
For instance... we rent a condo, therefore we're not responsible for any repairs.
We had a closet fall down twice and we weren't paying the lady to come clean AGAIN with a room that she couldn't even access due to the mounds of clothes and crap all over the place.
Mind you this happened after I completed some winter-break de-cluttering and re-organizing; and based on the tone of this post I'm sure you can see how utterly un necessary this was to my well-being
Here's where I came in (only because home-boy decided to host a Super Bowl party the next day, might I graciously add).
Anyway, because it was semi-sort-of last minute - I didn't get my cleaning done on Friday Night.
I started to clean at 4PM on Saturday afternoon. I didn't finish until after 2AM.
That being said... I was mad. Not necessarily for good reason, but mad nonetheless.
Like REALLY mad. Like, don't even look at me right now, mad...
Like, if-your-finger-touches-my-arm-I-will-break-it, mad.
He had to bribe me into not being mad anymore. That only occurred after I had my fit, didn't speak to him for half the day, and he agreed to take Olive to school the ENTIRE week. This meant I could wake up 45 minutes later every day - and I'm not an early person - so it holds great value in my eyes.
All in all, it's a give and take. I'm willing to GIVE money to someone to clean my house ... and in turn I will TAKE food from our mouths to pay for it.
Laugh Out Loud - I crack myself up.
See... this inappropriate mommy blog provides humor AND marriage advice.
So there is this thing about how it takes forever to just get your house clean and all the tips out there don’t seem to be working especially if you are taking more than one job. I didn’t think of having my house cleaned until I came across this blog. This is indeed an alternative worth trying out.
ReplyDeleteLucy Andrews @ Safeclean Westminster